Margarita from Colombia can’t stop talking during whole-class discussions.
Abdul from Saudi Arabia dominates group discussions.
Jessica from China asks one question after another in class.
… while Mari from Japan sits quietly. Does she not have any questions? Does she not have anything to say? She does. She always comes to talk to me after class.
This is a typical ESL classroom.
My non-Japanese colleagues and I would always talk about how Japanese students are different from students from other countries: they are polite, they are easy to teach, and … they don’t speak up in class.
Why do they not speak up in class? Why do they save their questions until after the class is over?
When it comes to English learning, Japanese students seem more self-conscious about themselves than students from any other countries. They seem embarrassed to demonstrate their not-so-perfect English in front of others and afraid of making mistakes.
But that’s kind of a problem.
Risk-taking is a very important indicator for success in language learning. If you are unwilling to make mistakes, you will never be able to use newly-learned structures or vocabulary in real life. Experimenting with the language, making mistakes, and learning from the mistakes are all part of learning a new language.
Then the question is, how can you become less self-conscious and be more of a risk-taker?
The degree to which one is willing to take risks is part culture and part personality.
Both are largely inherent in each individual and are hard to change. But there is something else that is easier to change and that will help one feel more okay with making mistakes.
And that’s our perception of ourselves, or our self identities.
I’ve been learning Portuguese for about a year. I’m fascinated by the language and I love learning it, but I’m still a beginner.
The highlight of my Portuguese learning experience comes when I see Bruna at my son’s school. Bruna is a nice lady from Brazil and is in Boston to study English. When our pick-up times after school coincide, I get to see her. And whenever I do, I seize the opportunity to practice my limited Portuguese.
This is how my conversations with Bruna go:
(Portuguese words are italicized)
Me: Como … foi …ummmm sua escola? (How was your school?)
Bruna: !@&)^&%*#@#^&!%$)*&(*)&*(^ (incomprehensible)
Me: … Sorry, what was that? (in English) Ah …. pode repeat, repetir, por favor? (Can you repeat that, please?)
Bruna: !@$^&)*&#*$()^*&_@!$% teste.
Me: Oh, you have a test? Ummmmm você tem uma … ummm, how do you say test? Ah teste?”
Bruna: Sim (Yes).
Me: What kind of test? (resorting to English)
Bruna: &*¨!@$¨*&^ interview.
Me: Oh an interview? Ok, then ahhhh, você … quer practicar comigo? (Do you want to practice with me? with hand gestures)
I know. My Portuguese is VERY limited.
But because it’s so limited, I use everything I’ve got to communicate with Bruna. I don’t care if I make mistakes. I don’t care if I look crazy with all the facial expressions and gestures. I don’t care if I have to pause, slow down, and even insert some English words here and there.
I’m okay that I’m showing the world that I’m not good at Portuguese. You know why?
Because I know I’m a LEARNER of Portuguese. I’m not a native speaker.
I don’t feel bad about myself. I actually have a lot of fun speaking Portuguese.
Now, is this how I learned English?
No. Not even close.
My English skills, which I had cultivated over 15 years, were put to test during my first study abroad in my junior year in college.
You know what I was afraid of the most?
Speaking up in a group of people.
Yup. Just like Mari. Just like most Japanese students.
One of the classes I took as an exchange student came with a discussion session. Discussion sessions are classes facilitated by a Teaching Assistant, and students are expected to … well, engage in discussions, as opposed to listening to a lecture in a large auditorium.
I was scared of going to the discussion session every week. It was a while ago, but I still remember this one particular session where I just couldn’t bring myself to raise my hand. My TA had a policy that EVERY student in his group had to speak up in each session, so he didn’t let me off the hook that time, either. During the whole period, I couldn’t focus on anything that anyone was saying. I kept thinking of what I should say and how I should say it, and that I didn’t want to say it. After everyone in class spoke up, he called on me. I don’t remember what I said, but I remember it was painful.
It wasn’t just this formal discussion session. I was nervous about going to dinner with a bunch of American friends or joining game nights with my housemates.
Why was I so self-conscious? Why couldn’t I act like I do now when I speak Portuguese?
The biggest reason probably is that English is a big part of my language ego, or part of who I am. English has been my life. I’ve poured my heart and soul into learning it. So I couldn’t allow myself to mess up in conversations with native speakers. As a quasi-native speaker, I had to understand everything that was said, I had to be fluent all the time, and I had to sound natural. At least, that was the identity I gave myself at that time.
If only had I been able to take on a different perspective. If only had I been able to allow myself to be a “learner,” who still didn’t understand everything, who sometimes made mistakes, and who didn’t completely sound natural.
Yes, the pressure to be like a native speaker did push me to improve my English skills. But it took me years before I could comfortably speak up in a group of native speakers. And the process was not easy.
If you are pressuring yourself that you should not make any mistakes, that you need to sound like a native speaker, and that you should speak English “perfectly” (whatever that means), give yourself a break.
Embrace the identity as a language learner.
It’s all right if you don’t understand everything. You are a learner.
It’s all right if you don’t sound natural. You are a learner.
It’s all right if you make mistakes. You are a learner.
Accepting the identity as a learner will actually accelerate your learning.
When you hear something you don’t understand, you will no longer feel the need to pretend that you understand. You will feel more comfortable saying, “What does that mean? I’ve never heard of it.”
When you don’t know how to say something, you will be able to say, “I don’t know how to say this in English. How do you say …?”
This way, you will end up learning new words and phrases, and natural ways of saying things.
And more than anything, you will feel more comfortable with yourself with your “not-so-perfect” English (My English is not perfect, but I’m okay with that!).
Trust me–once you embrace your identity as a learner, your English learning process will become much less painful and a lot more fun.
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